2017 has been one heck of a challenging year. I feel like I have had so many obstacles to overcome and so many demons to face, that sometimes I absolutely cannot believe that certain events happened this year and aren’t a distant memory. Sometimes it feels like I’ve crammed two years worth of troubles, changes and self-development into one.
I grew a lot as a person. I started the year being depressed, anxious and panicky. I had more downs than ups, I lost myself and didn’t know where my life was heading but as I sit here and type this now, in December 2017, I can honestly say that I have grown in confidence and self-esteem more than I ever have in such a short period of time. It really is true: What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.
With a year as eventful as this past one, I couldn’t let it end without summarising a few of the lessons I have learned this year.
1. Life is unpredictable. | Everything can change from one day to another, be that a small notch or a life-changing event. Live your life to the best of your abilities every single day, you never know what’s going to happen tomorrow.
2. It really is better not to overshare. | In an attempt to be more open and honest with people, I sometimes tried to explain something which I should’ve known is hard to understand for someone, especially if they don’t know me well. I found it best to get back to my gut feeling and only share as much as I truly think will be okay.
3. You are stronger than you think. | You never know it until you have no choice but to be strong. It might not feel like it in the moment but hindsight will show you just how incredible you are.
4. No one is worth destroying yourself for. | I briefly mentioned this in a variety of posts throughout the year but with a relapse of depression and anxiety, I learned again that no one is worthing feeling horribly low for. No employer, partner, friend or family member. It is okay and, even more so, necessary that you take a step back from people and situations which make you feel nothing but shite. I know there are gradings to this, depending on the relationship you have with that specific person, but taking any actions to protect yourself and your health is valid and needed.
5. Some things aren’t meant to be. | You live and you learn. A new job, a new city, a new relationship – some things work out and some things don’t. It’s as simple as that, although it can be very, very hard to accept at times.
6. You can’t control other people’s behaviour. | When I went to a new school in year 11, I thought it was going to be relatively easy for me because I already knew quite a few people there. Little did I know that they would ignore me and make everything so difficult that I ended up re-taking the entire year (which, just to clarify, was the best decision I could’ve made). Moving to Brighton was similar. I knew a few people and I had hoped that that would make the move to the South a bit easier – turns out, no one really cared. You just can’t influence other people’s behaviour, and that’s okay. (Also falls under #5)
7. I am worth more than this. | I’ve stopped accepting people who play games with me and bullshit me around. It can be really hurtful to cut people out but it’s worse having to endure their shitty behaviour every single day, if you ask me.
2018, I am ready for you.
’til next time x