This is a recent re-discovery of mine.
I’ve known William Fitzsimmons and his music for many years now but in all honesty, I’m not always in the mood for it. His lyrics are very deep and very relatable so that sometimes it gets a bit too much to cope with. On other days, I just let the words flow through my body – they pierce right through my heart and gut.
With “The sparrow and the crow”, Fitzsimmons lets you suffer from a very painful divorce with him. The tracks literally tell you the story of it; track by track you live and feel the different stages of pain, sadness and desperation with him, fall into every dark hole, lose every piece of hope until you reach the point of a positive outlook again. It is a roller coaster ride of feelings, brilliantly put into one album, sensitively worded, and oh so relatable.
1. After afterall*
“I still love you, I still want you, I still need you, afterall”
2. I don’t feel it anymore (Song of the Sparrow)
“Hold on, this will hurt more than anything has before – what it was…”
3. We feel alone
“You and I parted ways, I don’t think I’ll ever see your face.
We latch on to a heart, meant to hold but we get torn apart”
4. If you would come back home
“There’s room between today and the last time that I saw you.
The pictures in my brain will fade until I lose you.
If you would come back home, we could start all over;
if you would come back home, I swear it would be better”
5. Please forgive me (Song of the Crow)
“You swept me off my feet, you gave your heart to me alone;
I left you out at sea, I left you there to bleed.
But please, forgive me”
6. Further from you
“Everything’s closer to the end but I will get farther from you.
Everything’s closer, it’s the end,
but I will get further from you”
7. Just not each other
“Loved you first when we were children.
You broke my heart but all that’s forgiven.
We lost our chance to love one another –
we’ll love again, just not each other”
8. Even now
“How long should I wait before I let you go?
How long should I decide?
Whose side should I take when both of us were wrong;
when we both share the blame”
9. You still hurt me
“I’m not comfortable with how the story ends.
We were lovers and now we’re not even friends.
You were perfect and I guess I’m just a creep;
but you still hurt me”
10. They’ll never take the good years
“But they’ll never take the good years,
there are some that never burn.
No, they’ll never take the good years
11. Find me to forgive
“You were the only thing I ever loved.
But taken for granted you couldn’t stand it anymore”
“Good morning – you will find love”
* “After afterall” is the ‘sequel’ to the last track (“Afterall”) of the previous album called “Goodnight”
The album also features female artists Caitlin Crosby and Priscilla Ahn, who give a very special tint to some of the songs. Not only do their voices go really well with that of William Fitzsimmons but you feel like his ex-wife is really present in the songs, almost as if her voice was haunting him through the process of writing these songs. This makes them even more authentic as I’m sure everyone who has gone through a painful break-up at least once knows the feeling of being haunted by their presence in everything you do.
It is honestly one of my favourite albums of all times, if not one of the best albums out there. Highly recommended for those who are loving sincere musicians, and for those struggling to love and find love in return.